Top 10 Nerdy Baby Gifts: We are a Nerd Army of One

Children are not our pets; they grow up, talk back, and take on lives of their own. Nonetheless, this doesn’t stop people from imparting their values and beliefs to their kids. Hence, this is why we have nerdy baby gifts: because of cool parents like you. Nerd pride is a real thing and what better way to promote that than get the next generation while they’re young?

Reclaiming the word ‘nerd’ for ourselves is a powerful statement against the isolation and personal shame of simply being ourselves. When ‘nerd’ is used as a pejorative, it is an act of emotional violence, of abuse. By taking the word back for ourselves, we are robbing the power that word has on us, disarming those who would mean to harm us.

Top 10 Nerdy Baby Gifts!!

A gentle introduction to Star Trek is a perfectly great way to acclimate your newborn into loving arms of early Nerdom-hood. Your infant can now cosplay being a red shirt, or gold shirt, depending on the era you’re indoctrinating little one to love/hate.

Baby needs to know about K, L, and M electron shells and the accompanying s, p, d, f, g sub-shells. Why can’t little Mary or Johnny draw a correct Bohr diagram? How will your little ones ever survive in the world without knowing how to balance a re-dox reaction equation?!

Solution: Buy them these blocks. Also tell them that eating lead and mercury is bad. Nerdy Baby Gifts! 😀

Clear tools for our continue survival are a love of science, a passion for engineering and a clear, soaring intelligence. NASA is one of those things that, despite bureaucracy, has a mission that is path for our future.

So get them this NASA onsie!

You like video games? Of course you do. Now you can frag newbs with your kid. Get her this shirt!

It’s never too early or too late to start imparting to your children the values of 90’s era Star Trek and 2010’s era snark and post-hipster visual ironies.

Everyone loves adorable monstrosities, right? Who wouldn’t want a hug from some eldritch, furry abomination? Just because this little guy is defined by it’s disregard for the laws of nature and it’s grotesque mockery of living nature doesn’t mean that it can’t love a little hug, right? Imagine each one of this cute orange tabby’s tentacles wrapping their girth around your neck and hugging the life and love out of you? Your child will love this nerd baby gift, I promise; they’ll have no choice.

 

Dwight Schrute observed, “There are too many people on this planet. We need a new plague.” Thanks to the abuse of antibiotics in industry and medicine, we are facing this as a real possibility. I mean, I don’t claim to be a germaphobe, but to be fair, germs have killed a lot of people. It’s not crazy if they are out to get you, and those little soulless, unfeeling, alien intelligence that are the legions of microbes inside of you certainly are trying. Instill this healthy paranoia into your young loved ones with a plush Rhino virus (common cold)

 

There comes a time in a young person’s life time when they start to leave behind the toys of youth, such as teddy bears, and starts to pick up the toys of late adolescence, sometime in the 7-11 range; mid-life crisis for minors. Those toys are the more virtual kind, the Minecraft kind. Most adults don’t quite the huge cultural impact that Minecraft has on the younger kids. It’s like Mario Brothers for the middle-school crowd. The  most practical way to show off this budding fandom is to get real life swag that also serves something useful. Like this lamp by ThinkGeek!